We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
