thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
