I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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