So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
