Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
