i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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