ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
