just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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