I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
