"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
