in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
