It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
