so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
