ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
