Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
