I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
