My brain says no but my pants say off.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
