Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
