So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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