you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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