I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she peed on how many people?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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