you win again, gameday.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
