He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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