Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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