the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize