i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
