tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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