Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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