how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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