i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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