do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
