i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
