Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
