He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
