he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
