Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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