watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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