I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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