Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize