Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
