I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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