I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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