JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
