I think im going to throw up on grandma
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
