It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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