haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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