Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
