I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
should my penis look like a turkey
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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