im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
