She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize