ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Randomize
