Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my being single is dangerous.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
