im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
