so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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