so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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