theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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