So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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