Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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