I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
