I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize