Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
